Everyone has a different story of how they found out they were going to be a mother.
They could have peed on a stick. One, two, maybe even 10 times. They could have gotten a call from their doctor. They could have gotten a call from an agency. No matter how they got there, they are on the road to motherhood. Some people were overjoyed, waiting for years, some people were scared, unsure of everything, and some people were just numb, mixed between excitement, happiness, worry, and sadness. I asked some of the wonderful mothers in our group, "what is something you wish you had known, or wish you could say to yourself, back when you found out you were a mom?".
I hear all the time about mothers who are ashamed they had anything less than, overwhelming joy, when they found out they were going to be a mother. There is nothing to be ashamed of.
It is scary.
It is exciting.
Most important, is to remember you are strong. You can do this.
“The strength you need to do this already exists within you, the help you will need is all around you. Trust yourself, and trust your community.” Find your village, whether it is with FIT4MOM, a local moms group, a church group, or even a group of neighbors. Your journey to motherhood will feel less overwhelming if you have someone to talk to.
An extraordinary thing about Our Village, is that we have mothers with all different stories. We have younger moms, we have ladies who were step-mothers first, we have single mothers, we have adoptive mamas, we have mothers who tried for years to get pregnant, and we have moms who got pregnant while on birth control. Guess what? We all love our children, even with all our different journeys. I hope by writing this, I can give some of you new mothers and expecting mothers some solace.
“You are stronger than you know, everything will work just the way it should.”
The journey to motherhood is not a paved, level road. It is filled with pot holes, speed bumps, and lots and lots of hills, but it strengthens us for what is yet to come. Our kids need strong parents. They need someone to be there when their road is not level. You are stronger than you know.
“Stop planning for perfection, it isn’t possible, and just enjoy the moments.”
This is so important to remember all the time. In every aspect of life. There is so much pressure to be perfect these days, so as a mother today, I think we need to remind each other it is okay to not be perfect in everything. The only thing you are perfect at, is being the perfect mom for your baby.
“Life will never be the same.”
Now, this is not as ominous as it may seem. It will be different. You will lose contact with friends, you will look different, you will think different, you will have different priorities, goals, and dreams. Change is scary. I totally get it, I was the mother crying in the bathroom when I got that positive pregnancy test. But guess what, it is not all negative changes! Those children change your world, and make you want to be your best self. You want to do anything and everything for them, and your entire life will revolve around them. Scary? Yeah, it sure does sound scary, but I promise you will begin to love your new self, because your new self has the most amazing part of themselves right in front of them. That child will love you with their whole heart.
“Yes, do it, all of it.”
The mother who said this had a very different journey to motherhood than I did. She was the mother who was ready, took all the classes, was so excited, and again, just so ready to become a parent. Even being that mother who was ready, prepared, excited, the road to motherhood was not smooth and paved. It was more challenging than most can fathom, and yet she is still here, telling you “Yes it’s scary, yes there are times you will be challenged, question your decisions… but it’s worth it. Love and do it with your whole heart.”
If you are scared, if you are excited, if you are everything and nothing, just know that there is someone out there who has been in the same situation.
“Get ready for the roller coaster of emotions!”
Yeah, hormones aside, you meet that child you are calling your own, and you are bound to feel so much at once. Life will never be the same, you will be different, but it’s okay. I wish you luck on your journey to motherhood. I hope you reach out on your journey if you need support.
I want you to look in the mirror tonight, know that you are strong, you are beautiful, and you are allowed to feel overwhelmed, you are allowed to feel excited, you are allowed to cry, you are allowed to celebrate.
“You are the perfect mom for your baby.”